Ignore this.

Feeling low lately.

And filthy apparently.

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Over the last week or so I’ve felt low. Low in tire pressure and low in mind.

I make a daily effort to be positive and encouraging. Some days that just doesn’t happen. I am human after all. No one is happy all the time. Right? Please tell me that’s right.

The real trouble is I keep asking “why is it so hard for people to just do the right thing?” and I keep not being able to answer it. For them or for me. It is hard to do the right thing, especially in the right way.

I perch in the east gable of my glass house and pitch stones at anyone who comes within striking distance. I feel lofty and better than everyone. Then I look down.

The weight of regret is pretty awful.

The older I get the more I realize just how bad some of my choices were. And how every choice goes with you, forever. Now, before you let your imagination run wild, I have not murdered anyone. I would bet my regrets are pretty tame when compared to the average list. But, like one’s threshold for pain, one’s threshold for mistakes varies.

My regrets range from wishing I had not laughed at my mother when she tried to talk to me about how my bad teenager attitude hurt her to wishing I hadn’t watched parts of scary movies when I was younger because I haven’t been able to un-see those things to wishing I had better self control. Wishing that last one, mind you, as I eat a chicken biscuit or buy something I really don’t need or talk myself into excuses.

What I’m saying is have felt low. And I am doing my level best to let it go. Troubles and worry do nothing but make us heavy.

I blame January.

And now here’s a picture of a kitty to make us all feel better.

PS Before you all say it, God and I have always been on a first name basis. Our relationship is just a private one.